Imitation Poems

I love that we've done several imitation poems in class. I think it's a great experience to attempt to write using the style of other poets. It's an interesting challenge, and I've learned a lot from it. I decided that it would be fun to try to imitate Dean Young's poem "True/False." While I kept his style of numbered statements, I also attempted to maintain a certain depth to the statements I made.

True Or False?

1. There is always a right answer.
2. He loves me.
3. Do you see what I see?
4. Robin’s Egg Blue is a cooler crayon than Periwinkle.
5. Cell phones give you cancer—all that radiation gnaws away at your brain.
6. I am a culinary genius.
7. I masturbate to keep warm.
8. Bill Gates.
9. Wednesdays are the new Fridays—you know what I mean.
10. Full moons bring out the crazies.
11. Chivalry is dead.
12. Pay. Attention.
13. My black cat really is bad luck.
14. She also has a crooked ear from where my brother squished her in the Lazyboy.
15. I am beautiful.
16. Question Mark.
17. Men go through PMS too…sort of.
18. The government hears you dirty-talking your girlfriend.
19. Why is the rum always gone?
20. You are forgiven.
21. I complain about hickeys.
22. I am proud of my hickeys.
23. He loves me not.
24. If your grandmother had seen you last night, she would have been ashamed.
25. We are made in God’s image.
26. Number twenty-nine is a lie.
27. I love my name.
28. I’ve always admired you.
29. Sixty-nineing is more fun to say than do.
30. Ozzy drools like a dog. He begs and fetches, too.
31. My ring finger is unadorned.
32. Grammar is a forgotten art.
33. Wouldn’t you like to know?
34. Your mother told you lies.
35. But she was damn good in bed.
36. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
37. Naps are better if you’re not alone.
38. I have issues with authority.
39. People with uniforms intimidate me.
40. People with uniforms and guns intimidate me even more.
41. Sarah can fly—but it’s not recommended.
42. A bomb in the lasagna? Great Scott!
43. This one time, I went to my uncle’s house in Louisiana. My brother & I were bored, so we went down to the bayou in a boat. I leaned over the edge of the boat to see what we hit, and an alligator jumped up and bit me in the face.
44. Forty-three is totally true, and I have the scar above my left eye to prove it.
45. Men are merely necessities.
46. Unless you have plenty of AAA batteries.
47. I want to see my landlord in the scope of my rocket launcher.
48. Then pull the trigger.
49. No one in Hollywood deserves to be mentioned in this poem.
50. I cannot ride a bike.
51. I have no desire to learn either—most the time.
52. Pacifists always get assassinated.
53. I hate being a woman.
54. I love being a woman.
55. I aspire to be a kinky old lady.
56. Some kid once mistook my birthmark for a tattoo.
57. But I’m still not telling you where it is.
58. I have a fetish for Asians…female Asians.
59. But mostly I’m totally straight.
60. Except for that cold, lonely night in Manhattan.

Sarah Corra