I have thoroughly enjoyed our poetry class for several reasons. One of these reasons is that, although our class in large in regards to workshopping poems, it is small in regards to getting to know each other. At this point, I'm not positive that I remember everyone's first name--and I certainly don't remember last names. However, I know people based on their poetry. I don't think I've ever had a class where we concentrated and focused on workshops. There's something pretty cool about knowing that if one of our classmates forgot to write their name on their poem, I might be able to correctly identify it just based on the writing style and content. I love that we've become so familiar with each other's work that such a thing is possible. I also love the way reading poems from so many different people from so many different backgrounds has broadened my knowledge of poetry and even helped me with my own work. This is probably the only class where I will miss classmates this semester, too. This class has been fairly easy, but I feel like I've learned so much! I'm so glad I took this class. It was great to hear everyone's ideas and poetry. = )
Hope to have classes with you guys again!
Sarah Corra
Friday, May 1, 2009
Revising poems
After the last workshop day of the class, I was left with some great feedback for my poem. For the most part, my peers agreed that my work, although a fun read, was a little bit of a hodgepodge. The poem did not flow as well as it could have. So what I attempted to do in my revisions was make the poem flow better from stanza to stanza. Because I was working with the references of so many different pop culture icons, I decided the best way to connect the people I wrote of was by association using the events of their respective lives as the borameter. Initially, I started out with Lennon then moved to Ingrid Berman. In my revised version, I used sections to better represent my thought process in the poem, and to better aid the reader throug the poem. I coupled JFK with Lennon, highlighting their tragically young passings. I used Monroe, Berman, and added Judy Garland to another section, actresses that to me best represent the grainy black and white era of cinema. I also added an even more playful opening to the poem, one that uses the speaker's voice slightly more in reality, something that I think adds to my poem's idea of the cycles of being high. I think that the workshop process and Matt's comments greatly helped my work here. I knew where I was trying to go, but I didn't know how to get there. The comments my classmates gave me allowed me to see the direction I needed to be pointed in to write a sensical poem.
workshopping and portfolio
The workshopping process was something that greatly improved my work throughout the semester. At the beginning of the year, I would read my poetry to myself and think that it read well, that what I was writing was substantial and creative. But when I was able to have my peers read my work, certain things were pointed out to me that I never would have thought of if not for the workshop process. Certain things that were disclosed to me: sometimes a cluttered, complicated image is not the best one. An image that is clear, concise, and brings out some sort of emotion is usually the best. Also, poetry can be vague, but being vauge for the sake of being vague is not a recipe for good work. I have found that, although you are writing for yourself, you are also writing for the sake of the reader. The revisions I made in my portfolio reflect the work I made to make my poems more accomidating to the reader. Although the strange is welcomed in this genre, I have found that the simplest form, however strange, usually works best, as is the case for most things.
Michael McCune
Michael McCune
Imitation Poems
I love that we've done several imitation poems in class. I think it's a great experience to attempt to write using the style of other poets. It's an interesting challenge, and I've learned a lot from it. I decided that it would be fun to try to imitate Dean Young's poem "True/False." While I kept his style of numbered statements, I also attempted to maintain a certain depth to the statements I made.
True Or False?
1. There is always a right answer.
2. He loves me.
3. Do you see what I see?
4. Robin’s Egg Blue is a cooler crayon than Periwinkle.
5. Cell phones give you cancer—all that radiation gnaws away at your brain.
6. I am a culinary genius.
7. I masturbate to keep warm.
8. Bill Gates.
9. Wednesdays are the new Fridays—you know what I mean.
10. Full moons bring out the crazies.
11. Chivalry is dead.
12. Pay. Attention.
13. My black cat really is bad luck.
14. She also has a crooked ear from where my brother squished her in the Lazyboy.
15. I am beautiful.
16. Question Mark.
17. Men go through PMS too…sort of.
18. The government hears you dirty-talking your girlfriend.
19. Why is the rum always gone?
20. You are forgiven.
21. I complain about hickeys.
22. I am proud of my hickeys.
23. He loves me not.
24. If your grandmother had seen you last night, she would have been ashamed.
25. We are made in God’s image.
26. Number twenty-nine is a lie.
27. I love my name.
28. I’ve always admired you.
29. Sixty-nineing is more fun to say than do.
30. Ozzy drools like a dog. He begs and fetches, too.
31. My ring finger is unadorned.
32. Grammar is a forgotten art.
33. Wouldn’t you like to know?
34. Your mother told you lies.
35. But she was damn good in bed.
36. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
37. Naps are better if you’re not alone.
38. I have issues with authority.
39. People with uniforms intimidate me.
40. People with uniforms and guns intimidate me even more.
41. Sarah can fly—but it’s not recommended.
42. A bomb in the lasagna? Great Scott!
43. This one time, I went to my uncle’s house in Louisiana. My brother & I were bored, so we went down to the bayou in a boat. I leaned over the edge of the boat to see what we hit, and an alligator jumped up and bit me in the face.
44. Forty-three is totally true, and I have the scar above my left eye to prove it.
45. Men are merely necessities.
46. Unless you have plenty of AAA batteries.
47. I want to see my landlord in the scope of my rocket launcher.
48. Then pull the trigger.
49. No one in Hollywood deserves to be mentioned in this poem.
50. I cannot ride a bike.
51. I have no desire to learn either—most the time.
52. Pacifists always get assassinated.
53. I hate being a woman.
54. I love being a woman.
55. I aspire to be a kinky old lady.
56. Some kid once mistook my birthmark for a tattoo.
57. But I’m still not telling you where it is.
58. I have a fetish for Asians…female Asians.
59. But mostly I’m totally straight.
60. Except for that cold, lonely night in Manhattan.
Sarah Corra
True Or False?
1. There is always a right answer.
2. He loves me.
3. Do you see what I see?
4. Robin’s Egg Blue is a cooler crayon than Periwinkle.
5. Cell phones give you cancer—all that radiation gnaws away at your brain.
6. I am a culinary genius.
7. I masturbate to keep warm.
8. Bill Gates.
9. Wednesdays are the new Fridays—you know what I mean.
10. Full moons bring out the crazies.
11. Chivalry is dead.
12. Pay. Attention.
13. My black cat really is bad luck.
14. She also has a crooked ear from where my brother squished her in the Lazyboy.
15. I am beautiful.
16. Question Mark.
17. Men go through PMS too…sort of.
18. The government hears you dirty-talking your girlfriend.
19. Why is the rum always gone?
20. You are forgiven.
21. I complain about hickeys.
22. I am proud of my hickeys.
23. He loves me not.
24. If your grandmother had seen you last night, she would have been ashamed.
25. We are made in God’s image.
26. Number twenty-nine is a lie.
27. I love my name.
28. I’ve always admired you.
29. Sixty-nineing is more fun to say than do.
30. Ozzy drools like a dog. He begs and fetches, too.
31. My ring finger is unadorned.
32. Grammar is a forgotten art.
33. Wouldn’t you like to know?
34. Your mother told you lies.
35. But she was damn good in bed.
36. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
37. Naps are better if you’re not alone.
38. I have issues with authority.
39. People with uniforms intimidate me.
40. People with uniforms and guns intimidate me even more.
41. Sarah can fly—but it’s not recommended.
42. A bomb in the lasagna? Great Scott!
43. This one time, I went to my uncle’s house in Louisiana. My brother & I were bored, so we went down to the bayou in a boat. I leaned over the edge of the boat to see what we hit, and an alligator jumped up and bit me in the face.
44. Forty-three is totally true, and I have the scar above my left eye to prove it.
45. Men are merely necessities.
46. Unless you have plenty of AAA batteries.
47. I want to see my landlord in the scope of my rocket launcher.
48. Then pull the trigger.
49. No one in Hollywood deserves to be mentioned in this poem.
50. I cannot ride a bike.
51. I have no desire to learn either—most the time.
52. Pacifists always get assassinated.
53. I hate being a woman.
54. I love being a woman.
55. I aspire to be a kinky old lady.
56. Some kid once mistook my birthmark for a tattoo.
57. But I’m still not telling you where it is.
58. I have a fetish for Asians…female Asians.
59. But mostly I’m totally straight.
60. Except for that cold, lonely night in Manhattan.
Sarah Corra
Waiting for my foot to ring by Bob Hicok
What a strange and interesting poem! This thing is full of awesome lines which at first glance all seem to be somewhat random (as you might be able to tell by the title) yet have something woven between them that keeps them all together to tell some sort of story. My absolute favorite line in this poem is "I have sunlight on my hands/I'm thinking of putting it in a box and sending/to the people who weight sunlight". Brilliant. That this poem seems to be doing is bringing a sort of Hyper realism (i think that's the right word) to an otherwise normal, but sad situation. The speakers father is on the operating table for what seems to be colon cancer, and the speaker in basically just showing us what he sees but in a very unique way. He then tells us about his fathers childhood, and some stuff about his own childhood as well. I suppose one line in his poem kind of shows what he is doing, and that is "Every time I write, I try to hold/the world still by noticing how the world moves". VERY cool poem.
`Brian Michael Dunar
`Brian Michael Dunar
On Being a Sonnet Snob
I think I'm a sonnet snob. First of all, I would like to say that I am not one of those few talented poets who write sonnets well. Even though this is the case, I still have a certain idea in mind when it comes to what a sonnet should be like. A sonnet should have certain qualities to it, in addition to the actual rules/criteria that defines a sonnet. It should use more formal language.--though not necessarily Old English. I also have trouble grasping "modern sonnets." For example, "Heat" by Denis Johnson does not fit my criteria. I don't deny that it is a good poem; and it certainly is interesting. However, I just prefer the more traditional sonnets. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" by Shakespeare and "Farewell to Love" by Michael Drayton are both great sonnets. I love the language used in both of these sonnets. I also like the more romantic themes. While I appreciate that we all have our own style when it comes to writing poetry, I also appreciate that we all enjoy different types of poetry. I think the types of sonnets I enjoy are the more traditional sonnets.
Sarah Corra
Sarah Corra
Response to Moment by Sarah C. Portner
Good job! I found this poem really interesting. I like how you managed to capture that "Moment" in time so vividly yet you didn't give away what happened in this moment. I think the mystery in this poem along with the strong details and imagry really brought it to life even without knowing what exactly happened. The other cool thing about it is that it is able to be related with to me as the reader even though I have not experienced this moment. It is written in a way that makes it universal and shows the value of friendships and the impact it can make on our lives, whether good or bad. The one thing I did find unclear however (if you are looking for some suggestions for revision as well) is actually the very last line. This is because it does not have a direct link to a point in the poem. I think it is talking about the colors two lines before, but I think the placement of the line makes it seem like the days are running down the face in smears and not the colors. I may have interperated (sp?) it wrong though, but if it was a little bit more clear like the rest of the poem I think that would be really helpful.
Thanks for the good read!
Brian Michael Dunar
Thanks for the good read!
Brian Michael Dunar
Found
I found this poem buried within my old writings that I have stacked up in files on my computer, so I figured I would share it and do some revisions for this blog post.
Found
A nice thing,
to celebrate how
too many
hollow syllables
that, two
eyes and
two
ears, turn
into ordinary things.
Alert to the
possibilities in
ordinary unknowns.
Upon re-reading this after a long time I realized it didn't really makes sense... so I thought I should make it say something interesting, here is what I did.
Found
It's interesting
to see how
hollow syllables
can turn
into ordinary things
such as two
eyes and
two ears
which see and
hear the
possibilities in
ordinary unknowns.
I'm not sure how well it really worked over all, but trying to salvage what I could from an old poem that didn't really make sense, and make it into something useful was pretty fun I must say!
`Brian Michael Dunar
Found
A nice thing,
to celebrate how
too many
hollow syllables
that, two
eyes and
two
ears, turn
into ordinary things.
Alert to the
possibilities in
ordinary unknowns.
Upon re-reading this after a long time I realized it didn't really makes sense... so I thought I should make it say something interesting, here is what I did.
Found
It's interesting
to see how
hollow syllables
can turn
into ordinary things
such as two
eyes and
two ears
which see and
hear the
possibilities in
ordinary unknowns.
I'm not sure how well it really worked over all, but trying to salvage what I could from an old poem that didn't really make sense, and make it into something useful was pretty fun I must say!
`Brian Michael Dunar
Home by Robert Winner
Home by Robert Winner is an interesting poem about his home in the Bronx in the 1930s and onward, and how he sees it. The visual details are very vivid such as the lines "driving past those small hills/blighted for miles with bleak/six-story desert-like apartments" and "in its damp and dingy streets, living my life". He then makes a comment about how it probably used to look without landfills and delapidated buildings and what not. The poem in the packet is unfortunatly not the whole thing, but I'd imagine the poem continues on with these themes where he paints a very bleak outlook on his home, and yet somehow makes the reader (me) want to visit it and see what it was like back then, since I hear it is actually fairly nice now.
Brian Michael Dunar
Brian Michael Dunar
Between the Lines
I forced myself
to take his words at face value
ignore the trap doors
i knew were there.
For the first time
i guarded my eyes
i shielded my smile.
Did my fortress crack
when i gave way and laughed?
I'll never know why
he came back
nor what it was he "enjoyed"
or will i ever know why
i took him back.
--Sarah C. Portner
to take his words at face value
ignore the trap doors
i knew were there.
For the first time
i guarded my eyes
i shielded my smile.
Did my fortress crack
when i gave way and laughed?
I'll never know why
he came back
nor what it was he "enjoyed"
or will i ever know why
i took him back.
--Sarah C. Portner
Without You
One more sad song
I'll wake up again
Without you
And today won't seem so long
Without you
I'll smile for the first time
In weeks
Your memories will start to fade
I'll realize, I'm better off
Without you
The night will slip away
My body won't long
For your arms
And I'll lie here
Without you.
--Sarah C. Portner
I'll wake up again
Without you
And today won't seem so long
Without you
I'll smile for the first time
In weeks
Your memories will start to fade
I'll realize, I'm better off
Without you
The night will slip away
My body won't long
For your arms
And I'll lie here
Without you.
--Sarah C. Portner
Brush of Pain
I wanted you to hold out for me
to fight for me
to long, like I have longed
Instead we fell
Broken acts
Shattered hearts
Forgotten dreams
Walking away from you
God knows I betrayed you
Believe me, I too, am aware
of the damage I've wrought
A woman's heart
is a jealous, indignant heart
that leads to a wounded pride
We were each others demise
I was yours
And you were mine
What a cruel hand we were dealt by fate
I can't change the stars
My melancholy friend
I can only write the songs
of their fallen friends
If I could only speak
these words out right to you
I truly believe that would do more for you
than my written words
could ever dream to do
If I was only able to
spill the intentions of my weary heart
--Sarah C. Portner
to fight for me
to long, like I have longed
Instead we fell
Broken acts
Shattered hearts
Forgotten dreams
Walking away from you
God knows I betrayed you
Believe me, I too, am aware
of the damage I've wrought
A woman's heart
is a jealous, indignant heart
that leads to a wounded pride
We were each others demise
I was yours
And you were mine
What a cruel hand we were dealt by fate
I can't change the stars
My melancholy friend
I can only write the songs
of their fallen friends
If I could only speak
these words out right to you
I truly believe that would do more for you
than my written words
could ever dream to do
If I was only able to
spill the intentions of my weary heart
--Sarah C. Portner
Moment
I just wanted to put something that I had been working in on here. I don't know if it counts, but I figured I would give it a shot.
Moment
Dedicated to Chelsea and Travis
We defined a moment
A sequence in time
That is irrevocably ours
Irreplaceable in ways we'll never know
Somewhere, that moment lives on
In some pocket of time
That is hidden away for memories
And sunless rainy days
A reservoir of laughs that erased the night
Graffiti'd with black and blue and
That silver paint that streamed down your face
And provoked a smile
Unleashed the flood gates of laughter
Till we could not breath
Till tears ran in with the sweat and ink
Till we were lined
Lined with every color of creation
Colors that have been forgotten
Faded into a forever of endless forgotten days
And they ran in smears down the drain.
--Sarah C. Portner
Moment
Dedicated to Chelsea and Travis
We defined a moment
A sequence in time
That is irrevocably ours
Irreplaceable in ways we'll never know
Somewhere, that moment lives on
In some pocket of time
That is hidden away for memories
And sunless rainy days
A reservoir of laughs that erased the night
Graffiti'd with black and blue and
That silver paint that streamed down your face
And provoked a smile
Unleashed the flood gates of laughter
Till we could not breath
Till tears ran in with the sweat and ink
Till we were lined
Lined with every color of creation
Colors that have been forgotten
Faded into a forever of endless forgotten days
And they ran in smears down the drain.
--Sarah C. Portner
Design in "Design"
One of William Olson's suggestions is to find an attitude of one of your favorite poets with which you disagree. Robert Frost is one of my favorite poets; I love his style, language, and themes. His poem "Design" is also a favorite, but I disagree with his belief that nature and even the universe was designed.
"What had that flower to do with being white,
The wayside blue and innocent heal-all?
What brought the kindred spider to that height,
Then steered the white moth thither in the night?
What but design of darkness to appall?—
If design govern in a thing so small."
According to Frost, a "design of darkness to appall" - some terrifying, hostile force - colored the flower “innocent” white and guided both the predator and its prey to it so the spider would eat the moth. I would call that design “nature” or “natural selection” but not divine. He entertains the concept of a higher power such as a deity consciously creating and directing the universe but I find two problems in that perception: morality and natural order.
Frost considers nature to be a malevolent force but fails to see that nature itself is not alive. A rock does not grow from acquiring resources (ie. eating), water does not adapt to stimuli (ie. fighting, fleeing, growing a winter coat, etc.), and clouds do not reproduce to propagate their species. Without life, the forces of nature can have no consciousness and therefore no intentions or sense of morality. The weather, energy, natural selection, etc. are not malicious or compassionate but either beneficial or destructive.
As for natural order, Frost wonders if nature was designed but fails to recognize patterns that develop from natural stimuli without being planned. Ancient civilizations once considered thunderstorms to be angry gods but discovered that they develop based on certain conditions. When we acquire the technology and science to understand mysteries, we can drop the myth of design because it can be observed to develop naturally - without being planned.
Take the "invisible hand" theory by Adam Smith, the so-called father of economics. According to this concept, order tends to arise from spontaneous individual actions. His example was about free markets but the same can be applied to nature. Flocks of birds operate under the "invisible hand" concept because no single bird leads the flock and yet all birds maintain perfect order. This is because every bird acts in its own self interest. Birds have certain instincts: Maintain distance from others so as not to bump into them, but keep close enough to remain part of the flock. This individual order produces order in the flock's larger system.
This concept shows how this pattern of flower-spider-moth evolved through spontaneous individual actions, not intelligent design. The flower, spider, and moth were not placed there together by some divine hand. The flower was first a seed that grew there because the soil had enough nutrients. The spider climbed into the flower because flowers of the same color offer protection via camouflage, and moths (aka food) also visit them frequently. The moth flew into the spider's trap because moths usually feed on nectar. These organisms came together because each acted based on their own needs, not because the rendezvous was planned by some celestial being.
Robert Frost juggled the idea of design during his life, but I find it pretty simple after observing nature for only 22 years. The universe needs no designer to develop order and complex systems out of chaos. Earth itself has existed for over four billion years, certainly enough time for random events to develop patterns. Darwin's theory of evolution has naturally produced species best adapted to their environment and canyons have evolved after centuries of flowing rivers.
Even human reason and consciousness has evolved from the consistent growth of our ancestors' cognitive abilities. Even today, studies reveal the basics of language acquisition in chimpanzees, with whom we share over 90% of our DNA. I disagree with Frost that nature was designed, because when scientists discover how complex systems develop over time, the truth is simple.
--Jessica Murphy
"What had that flower to do with being white,
The wayside blue and innocent heal-all?
What brought the kindred spider to that height,
Then steered the white moth thither in the night?
What but design of darkness to appall?—
If design govern in a thing so small."
According to Frost, a "design of darkness to appall" - some terrifying, hostile force - colored the flower “innocent” white and guided both the predator and its prey to it so the spider would eat the moth. I would call that design “nature” or “natural selection” but not divine. He entertains the concept of a higher power such as a deity consciously creating and directing the universe but I find two problems in that perception: morality and natural order.
Frost considers nature to be a malevolent force but fails to see that nature itself is not alive. A rock does not grow from acquiring resources (ie. eating), water does not adapt to stimuli (ie. fighting, fleeing, growing a winter coat, etc.), and clouds do not reproduce to propagate their species. Without life, the forces of nature can have no consciousness and therefore no intentions or sense of morality. The weather, energy, natural selection, etc. are not malicious or compassionate but either beneficial or destructive.
As for natural order, Frost wonders if nature was designed but fails to recognize patterns that develop from natural stimuli without being planned. Ancient civilizations once considered thunderstorms to be angry gods but discovered that they develop based on certain conditions. When we acquire the technology and science to understand mysteries, we can drop the myth of design because it can be observed to develop naturally - without being planned.
Take the "invisible hand" theory by Adam Smith, the so-called father of economics. According to this concept, order tends to arise from spontaneous individual actions. His example was about free markets but the same can be applied to nature. Flocks of birds operate under the "invisible hand" concept because no single bird leads the flock and yet all birds maintain perfect order. This is because every bird acts in its own self interest. Birds have certain instincts: Maintain distance from others so as not to bump into them, but keep close enough to remain part of the flock. This individual order produces order in the flock's larger system.
This concept shows how this pattern of flower-spider-moth evolved through spontaneous individual actions, not intelligent design. The flower, spider, and moth were not placed there together by some divine hand. The flower was first a seed that grew there because the soil had enough nutrients. The spider climbed into the flower because flowers of the same color offer protection via camouflage, and moths (aka food) also visit them frequently. The moth flew into the spider's trap because moths usually feed on nectar. These organisms came together because each acted based on their own needs, not because the rendezvous was planned by some celestial being.
Robert Frost juggled the idea of design during his life, but I find it pretty simple after observing nature for only 22 years. The universe needs no designer to develop order and complex systems out of chaos. Earth itself has existed for over four billion years, certainly enough time for random events to develop patterns. Darwin's theory of evolution has naturally produced species best adapted to their environment and canyons have evolved after centuries of flowing rivers.
Even human reason and consciousness has evolved from the consistent growth of our ancestors' cognitive abilities. Even today, studies reveal the basics of language acquisition in chimpanzees, with whom we share over 90% of our DNA. I disagree with Frost that nature was designed, because when scientists discover how complex systems develop over time, the truth is simple.
--Jessica Murphy
What I Learned From This Class Cont'd...
This blog is a great deal of my portfolio introduction. Since only Matt will be looking at my portfolio I wanted to publish this for the whole class to view.
Over the course of this Spring 2009 Poetry class I have learned a great deal about poetry and myself. I have learned that poetry is in the eye of the creator. Poetry can be anything that evokes an emotion or remembrance. Often times I find that the piece of work is only good in the poets’ eyes, which is perfectly fine. As a songwriter, I write for the satisfaction of myself and most of the time I don’t even care what the listener thinks of my music, because to me, my music is the most personal channel to evoke emotion possible.
Workshopping was a very new experience to me. I have never sat in a room and had people critique my work like that. At times, I found that most people didn’t have a clue what they were talking about but the fact that their grade depended on participation meant they had to speak their mind. This is why I workshopped with a grain of salt. Like I repeatedly stated in class, I am no English major so why would I give punctuation advice. I wouldn’t and didn’t.
The mood in class was mostly very serious. As a comedian I felt that a good way to lighten the mood was to use humor in my work. Musically, my music is a great deal more serious than my life mentality. When you get screwed often in life, it’s hard to keep a straight face. With my poetry I took kindly to dry humor, which was a nice mixture of my lyrical and mental background. I always found joy in making the class laugh at an irony in my work.
Overall my work is deeply ironic. The biggest irony I used was in my poem “No Question Too Small”. Whereas everyone kept repeating that they wanted something more profound and serious at the end I confided in the fact that they didn’t see that one coming. In my mind I was successful.
All in all, my general theme is of the religious nature. As a man who is strongly bible believing, I get a lot of my inspiration from my favorite poet, Kind David. King David was a military man who wrote about a lot of the daily struggles that you and I can relate to. I guess, other than Jesus, he would be the guy I would want to have lunch with.
As I already stated, poetry focuses on an emotion or remembrance. The most profound thing I took from this poetry class was how to use eloquent words to describe how I feel. This is a useful skill for poetry and its cousin, songwriting and one that will serve me in any facet of my life. How ironic that I am a communications minor but learned how to best communicate in poetry class.
I really enjoyed this class and I want to thank everyone for their input and hospitality. Good luck in your futures.
-Jay
jaywoodward.com
Over the course of this Spring 2009 Poetry class I have learned a great deal about poetry and myself. I have learned that poetry is in the eye of the creator. Poetry can be anything that evokes an emotion or remembrance. Often times I find that the piece of work is only good in the poets’ eyes, which is perfectly fine. As a songwriter, I write for the satisfaction of myself and most of the time I don’t even care what the listener thinks of my music, because to me, my music is the most personal channel to evoke emotion possible.
Workshopping was a very new experience to me. I have never sat in a room and had people critique my work like that. At times, I found that most people didn’t have a clue what they were talking about but the fact that their grade depended on participation meant they had to speak their mind. This is why I workshopped with a grain of salt. Like I repeatedly stated in class, I am no English major so why would I give punctuation advice. I wouldn’t and didn’t.
The mood in class was mostly very serious. As a comedian I felt that a good way to lighten the mood was to use humor in my work. Musically, my music is a great deal more serious than my life mentality. When you get screwed often in life, it’s hard to keep a straight face. With my poetry I took kindly to dry humor, which was a nice mixture of my lyrical and mental background. I always found joy in making the class laugh at an irony in my work.
Overall my work is deeply ironic. The biggest irony I used was in my poem “No Question Too Small”. Whereas everyone kept repeating that they wanted something more profound and serious at the end I confided in the fact that they didn’t see that one coming. In my mind I was successful.
All in all, my general theme is of the religious nature. As a man who is strongly bible believing, I get a lot of my inspiration from my favorite poet, Kind David. King David was a military man who wrote about a lot of the daily struggles that you and I can relate to. I guess, other than Jesus, he would be the guy I would want to have lunch with.
As I already stated, poetry focuses on an emotion or remembrance. The most profound thing I took from this poetry class was how to use eloquent words to describe how I feel. This is a useful skill for poetry and its cousin, songwriting and one that will serve me in any facet of my life. How ironic that I am a communications minor but learned how to best communicate in poetry class.
I really enjoyed this class and I want to thank everyone for their input and hospitality. Good luck in your futures.
-Jay
jaywoodward.com
Experiment in Geography by Zachary Schomburg
I found this poem very humorous, right from the beginning. The line, I'd been putting beaches in North Dakota for two months, really caught my attention and also made me think how ridiculous it would be to see a globe with beaches in North Dakota. It is just such a strange and hilarious image. I assume that is what the author was going for. I especially loved the line, I put a fairground next to our neighborhood. I thought it would help. Mainly because of how crazy it sounds. He is talking as if by putting it on the map it made his neighborhood better. It also made me think that he was implying that if he were to put a fairground next to his neighborhood on the map that some how it would appear in real life. I also really enjoyed the line, Remember when I took you to see Kansas City? That was Omaha. It added a lot to the story and showed how much the narrator cares about geography. I think it only adds to the ridiculousness by him apologizing for the mistake. The last stanza definitely had some great language but I did not completely get the meaning of it, which is fine with me because it in no way detracted from the poem.
Robert C. Carothers III
Robert C. Carothers III
My Son the Man by Sharon Olds
I found this poem to be very moving and well written. I especially like the parallels between her son and Harry Houdini. By the second line i was intrigued. As I continued on the parallel became stronger and stronger, which I really enjoyed. I love the line, zip him up and toss him up and catch his weight. I got a perfect image from this. By reading that line it was very clear just how sad this mother is that her little boy is growing up. She had a lot of wonderful description throughout this piece, and certainly has a good grasp of language. The line, This is not what I had in mind when he pressed up through me like a sealed trunk through the ice of the Hudson. What a great way to describe pregnancy and child birth. Such great images and such powerful language. I also love how she follows it with another reference to Houdini by saying he, snapped the padlock, unsnaked the chains, and appeared in my arms. What perfect description, and she got across so much emotion with so few words. I also thought the end was very fitting, and also added in a bit of humor. Particularly the line, then smiled and let himself be manacled.
Robert C. Carothers III
Robert C. Carothers III
Where I Go At Night by Zachary Schomburg
I liked the three line stanza structure of this poem. I thought it worked well even though the author has a single thought go across two stanzas. I liked the short lines, containing no more than six words. I was engaged in the poem right from the first stanza. Once I reached the end of the second stanza I couldn't wait to move on. The line, I become a huge expanding and contracting shapelessness, like a group of wild children at the zoo. What great images. The expanding and contracting shapelessness, what a wild picture that gives. It almost makes me think of the blob, but not in any sort of distracting way. Also the way he parallels his shapelessness with kids at the zoo is just fantastic. Mainly because i got a perfect image of a large group of children all moving together but in a most disorderly fashion. I also really enjoyed the idea of the author hovering over things. He states some very unique things like the fruit section of a lonely late-night supermarket, or the sleeping Japanese diplomat, and the corpses of Japanese working class. All of these are very interesting. Particularly the Japanese working class corpses. What a sad and beautiful image that is. It also added, at least in my opinion, a great of emotion to the piece. I found the end to be rather strange, but then thought about other poems that have done similar things. After rereading it I found the ending very fitting and i eventually grew to love how it flows from beginning to end.
Robert C. Carothers III
Robert C. Carothers III
Poem for Underdog by Matthew Rohrer
I loved this poem. Probably because of all the references to other things. First off i think it has a great first line. After reading it i was instantly engrossed in the poem. I also really enjoyed the things that he has seen, like underdog in full color on a black and white tv. What a great concept and image. I could only imagine how amazing it would be to see something like that. Each line made me more and more interested in the next. I also really liked how the poem sort of changed in the middle where he stops speaking in the terms of, I have seen, and states talking about random things he has seen. Like the girl at sears with no bra, what a real image and statement. Its almost as if he was just writing them as he thought them up. My favorite part, probably because I am a nerd, was the adults replaced by Replicants in 1977. What a hilarious and interesting statement to make. I could see that being taken in several different ways. Possibly the author meant that people lost a bit of there emotional sides in 1977. Or perhaps it is reference to Jimmy Carter becoming president. Implying that he lived like a replicant simply smiling and waving. Either way, no matter what the meaning was I loved it, and thought it really added a great deal to the piece. The end of the poem is odd and gives me a sort of eerie feeling. With the line, I have looked into the mirror and seen two dark pools of humility, and the following line, Others have only dreamed they've looked into the mirror. What a strange image and concept. After reading it I was unsure of what to think. The last two lines just seem so dark to me, which works very well, but nonetheless gave me a slight feeling of confusion.
Robert C. Carothers III
Robert C. Carothers III
February by James Harms
I feel that this poem is short and sweet. It is filled with a number of lovely images and interesting language. I love how it begins, going over all the things Walt has in his pockets, especially the plastic dinosaur. I am not usually to keen on poems or stories that take place in West Virginia (mainly because that is where we are), but i thought this poem worked very well. I like the fact that there are two proper names used in this poem, Walt and Phoebe. By the author doing this I got a very O'Hara feel from it, which I definitely liked. I really enjoyed Phoebe's naming the clothes as she is folding them. This just added to the O'Hara feel and also really engaged me in the poem. One line that did confuse me was, every shirt a sort of hat. I love the sound of the line, but I am unsure of its meaning. I really liked the part about the postman and how he rings the doorbell to let them know that he's late. I found this to be very strange and intriguing. I have never heard of a postman letting you know he's late, but i do love the concept of it. After finishing this poem honestly i wanted more. I wanted to know about the clothes Phoebe was folding, and the postman, and also the plastic dinosaur. This poem had so many interesting images, that it just left me wanting more.
Robert C. Carothers III
Robert C. Carothers III
Nocturne by Tomas Transtromer
I found the poem Nocturne very strange and interesting. The first read through, I was very confused by the language. After a second and third read, the poem became much more enjoyable. I especially like the part where he talks about the human beings sleeping. Like saying that some sleep peacefully while others have tense faces as though in hard training for eternity. I love that line. I feel that it says so much about a portion of our population. I took this as a religious reference, which might be incorrect, but nonetheless I liked how it worked. The last stanza seemed the most powerful to me. Particularly the line, I see unknown images and signs sketching themselves behind the eyelids on the wall of the dark. What a crazy image, and a wonderful way to describe it. The last line of the poem is very well written and gives a nice image but its meaning is a little harder for me to figure out. I see how it relates, but i suppose my only problem is wanting to know what the letter is.
Robert C. Carothers III
Robert C. Carothers III
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