Bread Soup

The poem Bread Soup by Bill Holm produced mixed emotions for me. I must admit that upon first reading it, I found it rather bland (no pun intended), yet parts of it have slowly grown on me. Initially I saw it as being far too simple. I felt that one could simply look up the ingredients for an Old Icelandic bread soup recipe, and he or she could write this poem. In truth, part of me still feels that way, yet the last four lines truly save this poem in my eyes. This is because for the most part this poem is producing an image; it begins with the bread, and then goes to letting it soak in raisins and lemon slices, then the image of it being molasses, lastly the white whipped cream. And these images are very solid, because they are images which have very concrete colors attached to them: lemon- yellow, bowl-white, bread- brown, sugar-white etc. But as previously stated they are very simple to produce, anyone can simply look up a recipe, write it down and call it poetry. But not just anyone can produce those last four lines and tie them so ingeniously to the whole idea surrounding this poem. Holm has taken the tradition of his people (I assume) and has brought it to life through his poetry. He describes what process of eating and making bread soup does for him. Had he simply listed ingredients this poem would have been boring, but he chose to break each detail down further “ boil until it is a thick as molasses” or “ Ladle.. whipped cream to melt in its brown belly,” are both great examples of this. Then by stating “the soup is alive as any animal and the yeast will sing inside you after eating,” he is describing the personal pleasures the bread soup has brought him, and the potential pleasures the reader could receive if he/she chose to follow his instructions.
Daniel Pilla

Sonnets

The introduction to sonnets offered in class has been the key I’ve been desperately hoping for from this class. In all honesty my prior knowledge of poetry was rather minimal. I’ve always been a poetry enthusiast, beginning in fourth grade with Shel Silverstein. And although in the past few years I have began to greatly enjoy formal and stylistic poetry, I had no direct knowledge of the rigor which is required in their creation. Recently I tested the waters by writing a ghosted pantoum. It was difficult, yet I found its structure provided a clearer flow to the poem overall. So when the idea of writing a sonnet was proposed in class, naturally I was all for it. But when I looked at the contents of a proper sonnet I was truly shocked. I had always thought Shakespeare’s writing was genius, yet I never appreciated how truly difficult the sonnet style of poetry is. Naturally when I decided to dive in to writing my own sonnet, its difficulty was astounding. It wasn’t the rhyme scheme which produced any problems; personally I’ve found it’s far easier for me to write in rhyme as opposed to not rhyming. The true test was the task of utilizing meter. The concept of meter seems simple, but when broken down, I was shocked how many words wouldn’t sound properly in iambic pentameter. For the most part I was forced into using single syllable words, because anything larger didn’t seem to work. In my final draft of the sonnet I completely gave up on meter, because I couldn’t produce the quality I desired. The next challenging task, although not nearly as bad as meter, was producing ten syllables a line. I found that a ten syllable line was just slightly longer than I am comfortable with, so for the most part I was producing only eight syllables. Then I would try to fill in words, and I would produce too many syllables. It was rather frustrating, yet the toil which this poem entailed has only proved to make it one of my most cherished poems. I feel that poetry which one labors over is far more rewarding then a poem just slapped together. Therefore I look forward to dabbling further in form.
Daniel Pilla

Ruin Outlasting Sorrow

Upon reading “Ruin Outlasting Sorrow,” I experienced an overwhelming rush of emotions. It was shocking because, honestly, the first time it was read I only comprehended bits and pieces, I still believe I only comprehend bits and pieces. Yet these pieces have woven themselves so deeply into my thoughts that I find myself constantly contemplating them. The image of the black bear on the gurney is such a strange and beautiful comparison to a cloud, that upon reading one can not help but to say “Wow.” The emotions which were so intricately sowed into this poem are so well hidden, that if one did not read this with open ears, they could be overlooked. The sorrow he feels upon viewing that bear is depicted so simply and tastefully that I am truly in awe, as I am sure one could ascertain by the way I am speaking. Another stanza which particularly resonates in my mind is the stanza discussing the jet. In my opinion he utilized the jet to portray time, and or life. I feel this way because he states “Whenever anybody turns backward, it doesn’t delay the flight.” I look at this line as depicting those who reminisce. As one looks back on their lives, on their prior accomplishments, on the struggles they have faced, it does not stop time from continuing on. We can look back on our past, but those who obsess, lose the present. This poem has also mastered the three requirements of a “good” poem according to Frost. It has an overstatement in the first stanza by stating that “if we ever get free of our hungry world” all we will have is “The body.” He has a statement in the line “it looked like a cloud on a gurney. It looked intact,” he is stating how he feels. Lastly he has a giant understatement in the line “I still feel the desire to bury it.” There is so much emotion in that line, so much pain which still afflicts him to this day, yet he covers it up so brilliantly and simply in this line.
Daniel Pilla

Grooming

Bob Hicok’s Grooming is just as unique and strange as My New Neighbor. From what I’ve read of Hicok, his poetry is very surreal and bizarre; it almost resembles a stream of consciousness, as he writes down whatever pops into his head. As for Grooming, it starts out with the line, “I shave my hair closer to my thoughts.” This line still bothers me because I find it to be rather ambiguous. At first I understood it as a reference to the scar later in the stanza; as he shaves his head he gets closer to a forgotten scar, which unravels forgotten memories. My second idea seems rather strange but it could also mean----as he shaves the hair on his head he gets closer to the place where his thoughts are; his brain.

The most popular compliment given to any poem usually deals with some sort of concrete imagery, and Grooming definitely has more than enough to comment on. In the first stanza, he talks about the scar on his head and how it is “whiter than the uncut parts of me.” We all know that scars are always a different hue than the rest of our skin, but he goes even farther with the image by describing it as a blood pact to snow angels. This seemed to be an interesting use of juxtaposition because I never really used the words “blood pact” and “snow angels” in the same sentence. The next line/image that caught my eye was at the bottom of the second stanza where he talks about the missing girl. I found the line about the girl “and I believe in God for three seconds in case it helps” to be such a great description of how a person feels when they see a sign about a missing child. The speaker is obviously hinting at atheism/agnostic by this statement, and goes as far as believing in God for a while just in case it might help in her discovery. Atheist or not, he hints at the fact that whether there is or isn’t a God, only a divine being would have the ability to undo certain injustices/tragedies. There were a couple of images near the end that I found interesting as well, such as the ant who visits the speakers shoe as a vacation spot. The second stanza also contained some ambiguous imagery which I had some trouble understanding.

As a whole, I took this poem as a man who is getting older and looking back on his life. From the scar he forgot he even had, to the reference of “his head being more naked than it was an hour ago (reference to balding?),” I definitely see some evidence to support it.

---Albert Sementa

On Sonnets

So after many years in the dark, I was formally introduced to sonnets last week, and for the most part I'd say I appreciate this new acquaintance. (too corney? Sorry, but I love corney-ness. I'm actually the queen of corney.) Anyway, being that I didn't know anything at all about sonnets until the Mr. Matt Buchanan did some fine teaching and I read the handout from class, I feel like I learned a lot. And though my sonnet wasn't much of a success by any means, I still found it fun to write. Don't get me wrong, I found it slightly frustrating also, but overall the challenge of writing with limitations was kind of enjoyable for me. (yes, I'm aware that finding challenges "enjoyable" qualifies me as nerd status. I'm cool with it.) Though something tells me I shouldn't admit this, to make it easier, I actually numbered cells 10X14 on Excel, and labeled the rhyme scheme down the side, to write my sonnet. Now I'm super nerd status, right? Whatev, it helped me map the syllables out better.

Sure the concept of limiting, may seem like it's confining or discouraging creativity in some ways, but in my opinion, it also forces us to be even more creative than usual. It forces us to try different ways to accomplish something, and it forces us to work with what we've got. All of these things probably make us better writers in the long run. It's better to say more with less, right?? I'm reminded of Hemmingway. With a background in Journalism, he was trained to write within space/character limits and supposedly his short fiction was influenced by that. His stories often accomplish a great deal of description and characterization in only a few words. So, I'm pretty sure that striving to write like Hemmingway is a good thing. With only 14 lines, and 10 syllables per line, this is good practice.
Now word on the street is we're supposed to use concrete rather than abstract in our poetry. That said, I found that writing with sonnet limitations left me no choice. (Though I'm sure some abstract managed to find its way into my poem) For the most part, I felt like I used more concrete descriptions and words than usual in my sonnet because I had no time to drift in the world of intangible. And that has certainly got to be a good thing!

When it come to rhyming, my sonnet lacks. I thought the words rhymed, and when you read them separately they do, but for some reason when you read the sonnet itself they don't. I can't explain such a phenomenon, but I have more than enough proof. The thing that matters here is that rhyming was yet another limitation that forced me to be creative with my words. It was cool to see how something like rhyming affected my poem so much. Just be glad I'm not in the hip-hop business.

And as for stressing and un-stressing every other syllable... yeah, I couldn't handle that, but I did try. Shortly after, I gave up. But at least I've got a new appreciation for poets/sonnet writers that are successful with this part, which brings me to my conclusion. Appreciation. When I read sonnets I can now count lines, count syllables, check for stressing, check the rhyme scheme, and appreciate the work more thoroughly. Even if I don't get the meaning of the poem at all, I know the work and thought behind the form, and that's something to appreciate alone.

Overall, I think sonnet writing is good practice, if anything. And even if a sonnet is a total failure, it probably stirred up some cool phrases, ideas, or lines. As for my sad little sonnet, I think I will revise it without some of the limitations, and hopefully come out with a decent totally rad poem.


-Rachel Alberico

About February

It is a poem from James Harms in which a lot of typical imageries are used. From the first three sentences, the magnifying glass, two poker chips and the plastic dinosaur in the packet of sleeping Walt, supposing to be a child, the poet has formed a kind of quiet and peaceful atmosphere in Spring.Other nouns here include bologna, noon, carnations, plums, daisies, petals, sunlight, pine floors, a basket of warm clothes. The nouns are so
powerful that they almost support the whole central theme of the poem.

Another interesting thing is the structure of the poem. For most of the poems. I like their sentences are short and has special spacial arrangement for line breaks. This one is an exception, as mentioned before, a large part of the attractiveness of the poem lies on its vivid and typical imageries. The sentences in this poem are actually quite long, but it does not produce any difficulties for the readers to read it.

The last thing is about the whole concept of the poem. The nouns are almost displayed in a way of listing, except for some of them there are really good verbs to link them. It seems to be that nouns and verbs are more important than adjectives and adverbs. A good poem can be written with verbs and nouns only, but not only with adjectives and adverbs. It may also relevant to the use of concrete language, since nouns and verbs are definitely less subjective, and hence less abstract than adjectives and adverbs are. I do not personally oppose poems composed of imageries or narration, as long as it has good choice of verbs and nouns to support the whole central idea or theme
of the poem.

* Chan Wing Hong

Meaninglessness

I pile up heavy words
still not enough to whisper
what I really mean
and what you really mean
to me they have silently
grow into black walls

in the maze of my mind
the one I wait to be sought
and escape
I have long lost the direction
as in your dictionary like
Independent defines Childish
Simple implies Deep

blue sea of your pupils
from which I see myself
struggling to utter bubbles
burst before reaching
your euphe-
mistic ears

* Subject to further changes
* Chan Wing Hong